This may sound like an exercise akin to patting your head and rubbing your tummy, but I am quite serious about this seemingly simple concept. A reader recently sent me this note illustrating the lack of awareness and kindness towards others. Perhaps we can all learn from this reader’s questions: “I really enjoy your column. Thanks for the great suggestions for the New Year, which I intend to use. One thing that maybe you could consider writing about is the following: It really bothers me that many people today seem [...]

Autumn is here and with it brought a return to school for students, a renewed energy in the workplace with summer holidays behind us, and the end of the extensive summer vacation for government. With everyone raring to go, there are bound to be uncontrolled fits and misplaced bursts of energy, many people jockeying for positions of comfort after their rejuvenating summer breaks. Undoubtedly, there will be instances where people are so enthusiastic or full of themselves in general that they will exhibit uncivil behavior. We are, after all, human [...]

Most of us grew up with the nursery rhyme “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”. At a young age, when we would parrot such expressions while being verbally bullied, it seemed quite effective. There we would be, two kids face-to-face, finding our way through our worlds – the playground or the classroom, deciding who would have the upper hand. Usually once this exchange was completed, order was established and we went on about our business. Whatever was said by the bully didn’t seem [...]

No one can argue we had a tough winter. But now, Spring is officially here, and it is clearly time to come out of hibernation. As I’ve suggested before, now is the time to begin implementing some of the hopes and goals we set for ourselves for the new year. As the earth shows rebirth and renewal in so many ways, it is perhaps the greatest opportunity for us to take a look inside of ourselves. After all, if we cannot set aside time to perform some internal spring cleaning, [...]

In the wake of the horrific shootings in Tucson on January 8, the US media, as only they can do, have really wound me up by turning this tragic event into somewhat of a Medusa. They have dutifully dissected almost every angle imaginable, as is their manner of reporting. I have listened to arguments and opinions by journalists, politicians and entertainers from all sides. They are bandying around what appears to be a new concept to them – civility. However, in my opinion, they have missed the most important point [...]

There are a number of basic phrases which are part of any good arsenal of etiquette words. I have discussed the virtues of ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ in previous columns. Here I would like to share my thoughts on the phrase ‘you’re welcome’. This phrase usually follows ‘thank you’. But more times than not, we forget to complete this communication. What exactly do we mean when we say ‘you’re welcome’? For one thing, we indicate that we have heard and accepted the thanks conveyed. For another, it shows that we [...]

Last week we learned about the responsibilities for a host at a business lunch and this week we focus on guest etiquette. If you are a guest at a business lunch, be sure to arrive on time or perhaps a few minutes early. Later than 10 minutes is not a good idea and should be preceded by an apologetic phone call. If you have any dietary restrictions, let your host know well in advance. Be sure your clothes are clean, freshly pressed and with polished shoes. Be sure to check in the [...]

Business lunches are an increasingly important part of the process of establishing and developing business relationships. Rarely is a lunch of this sort arranged because the host is concerned that his guests are hungry and need a meal. More than likely, there are farther reaching reasons. For example, if a host invites a potential employee to lunch, he will keep a close eye on how that person will reflect the corporate image of the company. After all, eating is a ritual which we perform several times every day. If this [...]

I attended a great workshop along with a group of local high school students and interested adults to learn about the obstacles and problems associated with communication between youths and adults. The results were very revealing with education, awareness, and respect being the three most important elements to improving this important dynamic. There appears to be a missing bridge connecting generations which seems to gradually widen as we mature. Many people’s frustrations can be eased if we keep in mind some basic human kindness. Etiquette is based on creating a [...]

I was recently playing a friendly round of golf with a gentleman for whom I have great respect for. We discuss my writing from time to time and, since he has a genuine interest in proper etiquette and protocol, he suggested a topic. In golf, we often praise others by saying, “good shot” or something equivalent. In my case, I’m happy to see the ball advancing in a forward direction, so “well, it’s getting closer” is better than “you’re still far away.” But the topic of praise and the appropriate [...]