My favorite part of Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence, is Appendix B that outlines the “Hallmarks of an Emotional Mind.” If you’ve had a reaction and wonder if your emotions have “hijacked” you, look to see if your reactions fit this list:

1. A quick but sloppy response: an accurate perception is sacrificed for speed. Speed is what makes our emotions so helpful at protecting us from danger, and so harmful (when the danger is imagined).

2. Feelings come first: then we realize what happened. Our feelings seem to happen to us. We can practice ways of intervening but strong feelings have biological pathways that will always precede thought.

3. Our emotions often have a childlike logic and can contain symbolic meanings. This is why it is impossible to argue with someone “possessed” by an emotion. It is also why deciphering the meaning of an emotion can be so difficult.

4. Strong feelings are often a reaction to past events– not present realities. Taking time to understand these emotions can help us identify the unconscious thoughts (from the past) that are still driving our behavior (and reactions).

5. Our perception of reality is based on the emotion we are feeling. Even our memories can shift as we seek “proof” and “justification” for our reactions. Even though we may be very wrong in our assessments, strong feelings can leave us convinced of their accuracy.

How would you describe the experience of being overtaken by an emotion?

Laura Lewis-Barr is a Development Dimensions International Certified trainer and a Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Certified trainer. Laura has been teaching communication skills for over 15 years. Her specialties include: dynamic presentation skills, emotional intelligence, time management, conflict resolution, and customer service.

Too often I hear people talking about respect with tolerance as if they were the same thing. If you think about it, they are actually quite different.

As a positive way to start to the year, US News and World Report recently featured an article on 50 Ways to Improve Your Life in 2009. Coming in at #37 was Practice Spreading Tolerance. The article suggested that with the recent election of Barack Obama, a backlash may soon follow. Traditionally, when advances are made in race relations, like the recent selection of the first African-American President of the United States, there is almost always a negative reaction, however small.

“So what to do?” the article asks. Practice spreading tolerance its authors suggest.

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As the economic downturn looms over the upcoming holiday season, companies are coming up with ever-more creative ways to thank their employees. Even if your budget can no longer afford to give hefty bonus checks or throw lavish parties, it’s still better to show at least some appreciation for a year of your employees’ hard work than to ignore it completely.

A recent Careerbuilder.com survey that asked 3,000 hiring managers and HR professionals shows just where companies are cutting back on end of the year employee recognition:

One-third (34 percent) of employers planning to give holiday bonuses will pay out the same amounts or less this year than in past years

Of those employers decreasing bonuses, more than half (54 percent) plan to decrease by at least 10 percent

A whopping seventy-four percent of employers decreasing bonuses will lower amounts up to 25 percent

One-third (29 percent) of employers planning to give gifts to employees say they will spend the same or less this year than in the past

Seventeen percent of employers plan to cut back on the celebrations this holiday season

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I have long considered myself a student of brain sciences. I am fascinated by how we store information and learn, how emotion plays a role in imprinting and decision making, why behavior change is so difficult …anything that might eventually permit me a greater degree of mastery over that big, grey walnut-shaped mass between my ears. For those with similar curiosity, it’s a great time to be participating in the business of business. There have been more discoveries about how the brain works over the past 5 years than perhaps the last 150 combined…and more is coming out every day.

Okay, you might ask. So what? While knowledge for its own sake is nice, why is brain science so important? And why now? I’m a pragmatist and tactician by nature. It’s the applicability and bottom-line implications of new information that ultimately determine its value to business. So from my perspective, here are a few new insights from brain research that every leader and manager should be aware of.

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One of the ongoing features that I am hoping to add to this blog involves highlighting organizations and individuals who are getting respect ‘right’. But in researching this angle, I have found very few positive examples of respect in the workplace. As I scour the search engines, I keep ending up with results that either emphasize issues of disrespect or outline specific policies intended to increase workplace respect. There is very little online that champions those who are already practicing respectful behaviors in the workplace.

So how do we know what respect in the workplace should look like?

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