Respectful Workplace Blog

Every day brings a myriad of opportunities to increase our awareness, wisdom and, ultimately, effectiveness. The problem is that most of us walk right past these opportunities because of a little glitch in our mental “software.”

Years ago, a friend of mine, who is a behavioral psychologist, shared an insight that has stuck with me. While presenting to a local group of Training and Organizational Development professionals, he asked a very simple question:

“What is the strongest need that human beings consistently act upon?”

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Recently, I posted about how we are much more alike than we are different, especially in terms of shared values. But now, science is confirming that even across racial lines, there are more similarities among us than differences.

A new exhibition, RACE: Are We So Different, which opened last week at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History, explores the origins of race. Humans, as explained in the exhibition, are all basically the same, once the layers of skin are pulled back. Skin color variants in humans evolved only as protection from the sun’s ultraviolet rays.

If race really is just skin deep then why does the subject stir such heated debates and cause tempers to flare?

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Maybe yes and maybe no.

Lately, there have been a number of blog posts either focusing on proposed legislation that would prevent workplace bullying or the Employee Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which would expand Title VII to include sexual orientation as a protected class.

While this type of legislation is intended to eradicate inequality and promote inclusiveness in the workplace, we shouldn’t wait for its passage to act. Wouldn’t it be more effective for organizations to take a proactive stance before such legislation is passed to begin the dialogue among employees about the benefits of a respectful workplace?

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“The hot-button issues of politics can lead to inflamed tempers that can impede your productivity—and possibly, your progress.

Who do you think should be the next President of the U.S.? John McCain? Barack Obama? Jon Stewart? Regardless of who gets elected, there is no question that this is the most diverse and exciting campaign in many years.

Given what is at stake in the election and the historic nature of this year’s race, it is tempting to discuss the issue at work with those colleagues we’re accustomed to chatting with and hashing out so many things. Yet there are very good reasons why we shouldn’t.”

In a recent post on Anderson Cooper’s 360 Blog, Bruce Weinstein, Ph.D, the Ethics Guy for businessweek.com examined the ramifications of talking politics at work. He ranked politics, along with sex, money and religion as one of the most controversial topics in the workplace.

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Last month, I helped facilitate a workshop on respect in the workplace, leading a discussion on personal values and how they affect our professional behavior. Since our values significantly impact the decisions we make, it was important to have our participants spend some time reflecting on their own and the behaviors that would ideally correspond with them.
 
In that discussion, our participants defined a value both as something of importance and as a compass that guides us. They also discussed and came up with a brief list of possible universal values; those core ideals which would likely be just as important to individuals from any country our demographic in the world. While not validated beyond our discussion, our group’s list included:
 
1. Health
2. Family
3. Spirituality
4. Education
 
So what happens when we work with individuals who we believe are challenging or even attacking our personal values?  
 
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At the beginning of each Respectful Workplace program we lead, we ask participants to agree to 10 “Rules of  Engagement”.  We suggest these guidelines both to ensure a safe learning environment and  to assist each participant  to develop a heightened sense of empathy and awareness during the process.

When rereading the “rules” recently, I realized they could also be used as guidelines for any group or organizational meeting.

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The dictionary defines respect as “to show regard or consideration for” and “to hold in esteem or honor.” In previous blog posts, we have mentioned that Respect Starts at the Top and that Respect Doesn’t Need to Walk on Eggshells.
 
So what is respect in the workplace? According to an article Paul wrote:

“For those in pursuit of increased organizational effectiveness, there’s a new game in town. Respect. And given the demographic shifts impacting the North American workplace, it makes perfect sense. Over the past several years, there have been dozens of articles written that suggest organizations can achieve higher levels of productivity, raise morale and, subsequently, retain more of their best employees when they have cultures anchored in respect. 

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There’s an old saying that people support what they help create. The caveat is that we also oftentimes resist what is thrust upon us by someone else (especially if their intentions are unclear). After five straight days of work with two different clients this past week, I’m as committed as ever to the belief that employees and managers must together both define and own their work culture.

Using a relatively simple exercise called “Creating Our Code of Cooperation”, managers (including senior leaders) and associates took part in a discussion of what behaviors they wanted to be able to expect from each other. Simple things like saying “please” and “thank you” were mentioned. Taking the time to recognize the accomplishments of peers and holding themselves accountable for outcomes also made the list. Celebrating successes came up with both client groups.

Interestingly, what also made the lists were behaviors the participants agreed to refrain from. No gossiping, no yelling or use of profanity, and no blaming others when things didn’t go the right way. A culture, as it turns out, can be defined just as much by what we don’t do as well as what we do.

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According to Mark Pinto, a Cleveland based consultant, treating all with respect is a characteristic of a humble leader. While that may not have always been perceived as a necessary quality of an exceptional leader, in today’s changing workplace it has become a necessity:

“We are all called to leadership and as human beings all capable of fulfilling the role, whether we do it through self leadership, leadership within a small group or leadership in a much larger way. Humility does not seem to [be a] part of leadership as it is often misconstrued as a lack of self confidence.

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Ned Parks recently posted a story about a woman who would request that co-workers put away newspapers that displayed pictures of a politician she didn’t like. She reportedly found it “disrespectful”.

Chetan Borkhetaria, referencing the same example, intelligently asked whether it was possible to take common courtesies too far.

Is a culture where everyone feels obligated to share excessive “pleases”, “thank yous”, and “I’m sorries” really healthy? The answer is no. At least not if the behaviors are driven by a sense of fear and caution.

Respect is a two-way street. One direction is intention (of behaviors and words) and the other is perception. The true litmus test of a respectful workplace is whether or not the predominate intentions are to treat co-workers in ways that value, esteem and dignify them. This, of course, requires an inquisitive, learning environment where people gradually learn more about their peers so they know what is important to them. It’s difficult to value and esteem people if you don’t know what they value and how they show it.

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