The Platinum Rule says this: Treat others the way they want to be treated.

As a diversity practitioner, I have learned that respect has many different meanings. Everyone has their own idea of what respect looks like, sounds like and feels like based upon their unique culture, upbringing, and socialization. There may be some similarities; however respect is one of those concepts that can be very unique to each individual.

For example, depending on a person’s culture, respect can be shown by not making eye contact when speaking to an individual. In other cultures, it is considered respectful to kiss the person that you are meeting with on one or both cheeks.

Although the Platinum Rule is an easy enough concept to understand, it may be difficult to put into practice. In order to really implement it, you must have a conversation with the person(s) that you interact with about what respect is to them. Understanding what respect means to someone else requires getting to know them well enough to understand their culture, life experience, and perspective.

We live and work in a world where it is no longer enough to treat others the way that we want to be treated. The Golden Rule can often times be used as an excuse to treat others in a disrespectful manner. In fact, sometimes it may be no more than a shallow justification. How many times have we heard someone say “Well, that wouldn’t bother me” or “I don’t find that disrespectful” or “What’s the big deal?” I challenge you to think outside of yourself and go a step further to learn about those whom you interact with on a consistent basis.

As we approach the New Year, I encourage everyone to consider adopting the Platinum Rule. Engaging others in a manner that is respectful to them will deepen your relationships with others when they realize that we care enough to learn about what they need and want. Aretha Franklin says it best “R-E-S-P-E-C-T…find out what it means to ME!”

Ruth E. Ramos is a partner and a consultant of Compass Consulting Services, LLC, an organizational development firm based out of Cleveland, Ohio that helps companies meet their optimal performance by maximizing employee relationships and fostering inclusive work environments. Ruth’s areas of expertise are diversity awareness and management, communication, conflict management, team building and leadership. She also has experience in diversity sourcing, recruiting and retention.

A recent Careerbuilder.com survey that asked 3,000 hiring managers and HR professionals shows just where companies are cutting back on end of the year employee recognition:

One-third (34 percent) of employers planning to give holiday bonuses will pay out the same amounts or less this year than in past years

Of those employers decreasing bonuses, more than half (54 percent) plan to decrease by at least 10 percent

A whopping seventy-four percent of employers decreasing bonuses will lower amounts up to 25 percent

One-third (29 percent) of employers planning to give gifts to employees say they will spend the same or less this year than in the past

Seventeen percent of employers plan to cut back on the celebrations this holiday season

Similarly, The Wall Street Journal’s blog posted an alternative list of holiday bonuses compiled by a CEO. These items won’t take the place of a monetary bonus but still allows companies to show some respect for employees. The point is that big money need not be spent to show appreciation. Here’s a sample:

Give extra paid time off. Maybe you can’t afford to lay down $500, but you might be able to spare an employee for an extra day or two.

Feed them a feast. One lunch or dinner isn’t too budget-breaking, and many employees still appreciate time to catch up and network with colleagues socially – even if an open bar and DJ isn’t involved. It could be a basic catered lunch or, if that’s still too pricey, even an employee potluck.

Think bare essentials. In bad economic times when many are scraping by financially, often bare essentials like gas or food are much appreciated gifts. Think about the possibility of giving employees a gas card or even a fruit basket.

What are some inexpensive ways your company is saying “thank you” this holiday season?

Others bitterly (but in a low voice) protest the notion that they should have to say, “Happy Holidays” when in fact they personally celebrate Christmas. And a “holiday tree”? You don’t EVEN want to go there! Yet the fact of the matter is that we live in increasingly diverse communities and don’t really know just what some people celebrate.

A recent cover story on Religion at Work in HR Magazine sheds new light on how religious we have become as a nation. More than likely your colleague in the next cubicle celebrates something. Probably, it’s something entirely different from your own religious practice.

A strong majority in the United States are religious, even as religious affiliation becomes increasingly diverse. According to a 2008 survey by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life:

• 92 percent of Americans say they believe in God.
• 83 percent are affiliated with a religious group.
• 54 percent attend religious services at least once or twice per month.
• Nearly 60 percent pray every day.
• 39 percent meditate at least once a week.
• 74 percent believe in life after death.
• 63 percent say they believe Scripture is the word of God.

Here’s My Take

Ask yourself a simple question: What is your intent when you extend a greeting to another person?

Is it to announce what you personally celebrate or is it to offer an expression of celebration for their benefit? In most cases, it’s the latter. If you know that someone else celebrates Christmas, then offer a hearty “Merry Christmas”! If you know they’re Jewish, then smile and say “Happy Hanukah”! If you don’t know, but still want to extend the greeting, then “Happy Holidays” is the safe way to go.

The point is, we should always act on our best available awareness. Don’t let ignorance or arrogance be your guide. I personally respond to any greeting someone offers me with a huge smile and a heartfelt “Thank you…the same to you”!

One of the conclusions from the article is that, nowadays, many people are taken aback when someone is friendly or simply utters a casual “hello”. I admit I am one of those people. Often we get too caught up in our cell phone conversations or are just too busy to acknowledge those who cross our path daily. And when we do hear someone unexpectedly say “hello”, it catches us off guard. But when you think about it, smiling and greeting someone takes so very little time and effort, but the benefits can be seen and felt almost immediately.

A recent guest post by Kristen Leal on the HRGuy blog highlights how disconnected some workplaces have become:

“I was filling up my water bottle one day at work when I saw a business card pinned up on the bulletin board above me. It was for a photographer, who happened to work for my company, and did some professional photography on the side. So I headed back to my desk and decided to look up her name in our company email list. I emailed her and asked her if she had some time to come photograph my family. We emailed back and forth a couple of times, and then I decided that I should probably meet with her to go over a couple of things. I emailed her, and asked where her desk was, “It’s two cubes away from yours.” What? Ok, I was feeling pretty lame at this point. Thankfully, she initially thought I was in another wing of the building as well, so we both had a good laugh over it.”

While a simple gesture, like saying “hello” or “good morning” daily to your colleagues can help to reinforce a respectful (and friendly) workplace, there’s more to it than that. Taking the time to acknowledge and learn more about our colleagues is what turns a workplace into a community - and helps you avoid embarrassing incidents like the one above!

So Why Does Saying “Hello” Help?

1. It boosts our own self-esteem when we take the time to acknowledge others.
2. It esteems and values others when we recognize and acknowledge them.
3. It reinforces relationships and the willingness to help each other.
4. When coupled with a smile, a simple “hello” can’t help but put the greeter into a good mood.

Try It Today

Say “hello” (with a smile) to at least 3 people at your workplace and see what happens!

Moving Down the Road Less Traveled

Well, we did it. We elected our first black American to the highest office in the land. And many people didn’t think it could be done. Regardless of your party affiliation, you could really feel the air around election time energized with “cha, cha, cha change…” As a nation, irrespective of party, nearly everyone I spoke with unanimously said enough is enough and it was time for a change.
 
We’ve once again proven that we are ready to embrace the “melting pot” diversity our country was founded upon. Our new President-Elect, Barack Obama will do much to pave the way for more diversity and respect among many segments of our nation and the world, in business and our personal lives.

As an expert in helping individuals and organizations deal with improving effectiveness and change in a positive and diversity-inclusive manner, I was pleased to see President-Elect Obama remain poised and respectful during the bulk of the mud-slinging political contest.
 
I was also pleasantly surprised to see the avalanche of electoral votes in favor of a president who broke the long-standing mold. As a middle-aged white male, who has much in common with our new president, I can relate to being raised by prominent females in my life, namely my grandma, sister and mother, (two of the former having passed). Having never known my father, I understand what it’s like not to have a significant father figure or a traditional “nuclear family.”  Although at times I would have preferred just that. Also, for those of you who had the “Leave it to Beaver” upbringing, that is a wonderful experience to be cherished.
 
Having a diverse spiritual background, from being three-quarters Italian, one-fourth Jew raised in a Christian household to exploring different faiths, becoming a Muslim, exploring Buddhism and eventually leaving organized religion altogether for a more spiritual-based philosophy of life, I have come to appreciate the example each one of us can be within our families, communities, organizations, nation and world at large.
 
The USA continues to be a pioneer in moving the world towards accepting that diversity IS an advantage. Have we traveled far enough down the road to sound the trumpets that we’ve “made it?” No. Each of us has our work cut out for us to embrace diversity and respectful workplace behaviors and not just “tolerate” each other. When was the last time you received a verbal or non-verbal thank you when you held the door for someone or let someone in front you in traffic?
 
We need to come to a better understanding and respect each other’s opinions too, not just “tolerate political correctness.” How can the make-up of our nation, individuals and organizations alike, create workplaces respectful of diverse opinions, backgrounds, ethnicities, challenge the status quo, strengthen the bonds of working relationships to achieve common goals? We can start by embracing more diversity and respect in the workplace by treating each other as humans and not another cog in an EEO classification. Wouldn’t it be nice to hear someone say, 20 years down the road, “I can’t believe we actually NEEDED an organization that enforced diversity-inclusion in the workplace.”
 
Tony Bennett is Partner of EdgeOhio’s Columbus, OH office and Managing Partner of Make It Happen Through People, LLC, also based in Columbus, Ohio. Tony and his partners are experts in individual and organizational effectiveness, specializing in organizational culture, leadership, team performance, personal performance, coaching, employee engagement, customer service, managing change and diversity & inclusion training.

Okay, you might ask. So what? While knowledge for its own sake is nice, why is brain science so important? And why now? I’m a pragmatist and tactician by nature. It’s the applicability and bottom-line implications of new information that ultimately determine its value to business. So from my perspective, here are a few new insights from brain research that every leader and manager should be aware of.

Praise pays…directly to the bottom line. Anecdotal evidence abounds pertaining to the value of praising peers, subordinates and even those above you in your organization. It’s always been thought of as a good human relations skill and practice. But praise is more than just a “feel good” policy. It makes sense from a productivity standpoint as well. New research reveals the chemistry behind the conventional wisdom. According to Ellen Weber, Ph.D., from the MITA International Brain Based Center:

“Social fairness and respect help employees learn. If a manager shows interest in employees, supports them and praises them genuinely, he ‘squirts’ a chemical called serotonin into their brains. Serotonin opens employees’ minds to ideas, and creates desires to get to know managers better and to support whatever the managers need done. However, if you diminish me, you ‘squirt’ cortisol into my brain that shuts it down and closes it off to new ideas and my willingness to help you.”

Implication: Culture is king. Creating and reinforcing behavioral norms that value, esteem, engage, and treat employees with equity and fairness has long-term, strategic value. If you’re not a “people person”, learn to be one. You can’t afford not to.

Communicate constantly to minimize uncertainty. Uncertainty arouses the fear circuits in the brain and is an absolute killer to employee productivity. When people are unsure about the stability of their organization, their standing with their boss or supervisor, or a clear understanding of what’s expected of them, most assume the worst. The ensuing stress decreases the amount of a chemical called dopamine in the brain, a chemical that is critical for clear thinking and reasoning by the prefrontal cortex. Continuous uncertainty can also increase the levels of cortisol in the body, too much of which can permanently damage both the brain and the circulatory system.

Implication: Keep people informed as best possible. Let them know exactly how they are doing and what they can do to improve their value to the organization. Develop a culture that does not tolerate hidden agendas and devalues politicking, both of which hamper open communications.

Help yourself and others - learn by teaching. Corporate America spends millions of dollars each year on training. Training for new hires, training for leaders and managers, and training for individual contributors. But the efficacy of this training is often questionable. One of the things we can do to make sure knowledge transfer is more reliable is to get training recipients to share their new-found knowledge and skills with others as quickly as possible. When we teach others what we’ve just learned, the transfer of that knowledge to long-term memory is much more thorough.

Change is good for the brain. Contrary to popular opinion, old dogs can learn new tricks just as easily as younger ones. In fact, the topic of neuro-plasticity is one of the most exciting fields of study in organizational development right now. What’s important to realize is the type of new tricks we learn can be very important for long-term brain health and thinking capacity. The best kind of learning is that which develops an entirely new capacity for a person. While there would be minimal “stretching” involved with a pianist learning to play a new song, there would be considerably more value (as far as the brain is concerned) with he or she learning to play a new instrument.

Implication: The logical application of this practice at work is cross-training. If you’re trying to increase the overall capacity of your employees, look for opportunities for them to develop competencies well outside of those required by their current job descriptions.

Finally, be good to your brain. While I will undoubtedly be writing more about the implications of brain science in the future, I like to wrap up this post by reaffirming the importance of exercise and sleep for long-term health. While most of us are already aware of the cardio-vascular benefits of exercise, it turns out that the brain and nervous system benefit just as much. According to Sharon Begley, former Science Editor for the Wall Street Journal and author of Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain, voluntary physical exercise triggers the formation of new brain cells from neural stem cells. And sufficient sleep gives our brains time to integrate these cells and transfer information from short-term memory into long-term memory…which is required for all sustained learning and performance improvement.

With the purpose of creating a community of diverse perspectives and encouraging a fresh dialogue on respect, the Respectful Workplace blog team is pleased to announce a new monthly feature written by a guest blogger. This month our contributor is Ruth Ramos, a Cleveland, Ohio based consultant.

The Beginning of Healing

Probably the most popular topic today is the presidential election, or more specifically, the candidates. As a diversity consultant, it has been amazing to watch the diversity issues that have come up as a result of this election – race, gender and age being the most discussed. I sit and listen to what the media says and what others around the dinner table are discussing and I am amazed that in the 21st century, we still have such strong prejudices and stereotypes about these issues.

I have spent some time questioning how we, as a people, have distanced ourselves so far from the core of who we are. If you study Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, all humans are born with the same needs: physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem and self-actualization. In the essence of humanity, we are all the same yet we yearn to separate ourselves from others.

I have also had the pleasure of studying the four most popular religions in the world, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism and Buddhism. Coincidentally, each emphasizes peace or love among all human beings. I find it hard to believe that in a world that is so religion-driven, we have thrown away our religious moral values and have found insignificant reasons to hate one another. And in fact, we raise our religious banners as a justification to hate those around us who are not like us.

What has happened to us? What happened to our basic human needs to love and be loved? What happened to our morals and values? And for those who do not practice a religion and were born in America, what happened to the simple yet profound golden rule: ‘treat others the way that you would like to be treated’? It’s not my intent to say that we should all love one another and sing Kumbaya together. What I am saying is that if you’re going to treat me differently, do so based on who I am as a person – my character – and not on how I show up when I walk into the room.

As we begin to embark upon a new chapter in American history (regardless of who wins the election), my challenge to you is to spend some time reflecting on your life. What has happened in your life that has removed you so far from the person that you were created to be? The person who strives for love and peace among all, the person who was taught to treat others well. It is time to move forward as a people, as a country and as a world.

Ruth E. Ramos is a partner and a consultant of Compass Consulting Services, LLC, an organizational development firm based out of Cleveland, Ohio that helps companies meet their optimal performance by maximizing employee relationships and fostering inclusive work environments. Ruth’s areas of expertise are diversity awareness and management, communication, conflict management, team building and leadership. She also has experience in diversity sourcing, recruiting and retention.

So how do we know what respect in the workplace should look like?

During our facilitated respect workshops, one of the first activities we ask participants to complete is to explore how they perceive respect. We have them describe a specific incident in which they felt respected at work and ask them what was it about the incident that made them feel “respected”. Linking emotional response is the key, because we then follow up by having them choose three adjectives (besides “respected”) to describe how they felt during the interaction. Typical responses include words/phrases like:

• validated
• important
• intelligent
• recognized
• safe
• valued
• included
• motivated

Consider how these feelings affect performance. Since most people process their world emotionally before intellectually, it’s likely that the presence of these emotions cause most of us to feel more confident, proud and committed to the quality of our work. Specifically, when a supervisor (or peer) praises us at work, our brain releases serotonin, a chemical that promotes emotional well-being and facilitates the acceptance of new ideas in the brain. It also promotes the active support of that person by mirroring their “respectful” behaviors back to them (and others).

Contrast this response to how we behave when we feel we’ve been treated disrespectfully. We probably don’t perform at our best and the quality of our work suffers. Such perceived hostile behavior (attacking) at work triggers the release of cortisol into our brain, which shuts down receptivity to new ideas and also diminishes the likelihood that we would go out of our way to help that person. Ultimately this leads to compromised relationships, emotional disengagement from work-related objectives, and a decrease in productivity…all of which negatively affect an organization’s bottom line.

Despite the all-too-numerous examples of disrespect in the workplace, we know that there are positive stories out there as well. Please share yours and tell us about those organizations or special individuals who are getting respect ‘right’.

To begin his discussion, Moore appealed to the audience to find common ground in order to productively discuss race, whether in the workplace or in our personal lives, while acknowledging that each of us had had different life experiences. Moore led us through an exercise to find that starting place as a group.

First, he asked everyone in the audience to recall the preamble of the United States Constitution which begins with “We the People.” Keeping that in mind, he then asked the group what some common symbols are that represent America. The American flag, the Statue of Liberty and Liberty Bell were all called out.

Once everyone could picture the freedom associated with those images, Moore asked us to consider how far the United States had come in terms of equality for all. He reminded us that the social class, race, and gender of the authors of the Constitution was upper class, white, and male. Then, he asked everyone to assume that in 1787, after the Constitution was ratified, our country was at 0% for racial equality. “What would the percentage be in 2008?” Moore asked the crowd.

With our perceived number in mind, Moore instructed us to share it with those seated near us. My group, consisting of both African-Americans and White Americans closely mirrored the demographics of the entire audience.

The answers I heard were also as varied as the audience members. The African-American woman seated behind me said 50%, while the African-American women sitting in front of me both settled on 10%, and several White Americans, both men and women were in agreement at 65%.

When asked himself , Eddie Moore, Jr. paused and reflected before responding. As an African-American man, who grew up in the urban south and who later completed his schooling, including graduate work in a small Midwestern town, he thought that, on a good day, he gave the country as high as 3.9% on the progress of racial equality.

How do your life experiences shape the way you perceive racial equality in the United States? What about equality based upon other differences?