Comments for Respectful Workplace Blog http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog Because Respect is Everyone's Job Fri, 12 Mar 2010 04:10:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 Comment on A Wake-up Call to American Business Leaders by Paul Meshanko http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/03/a-wake-up-call-to-american-business-leaders/#comment-5599 Paul Meshanko Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:19:47 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=174#comment-5599 Great comments, Dorthy. I'm not sure where it's coming from, but I do sense a rift in our overall level of connectivity to the human "hive". The problem is that our economic system is driven by our leaders who are supposed to have greater wisdom than the masses and keep an eye on systemic sustainability. But I'm not seeing very much of that these days. Every company and every person for themselves. That's how Rome began its self-directed demise so long ago. Could America become the next Rome? Thanks, BTW, for the book suggestion! Great comments, Dorthy. I’m not sure where it’s coming from, but I do sense a rift in our overall level of connectivity to the human “hive”. The problem is that our economic system is driven by our leaders who are supposed to have greater wisdom than the masses and keep an eye on systemic sustainability. But I’m not seeing very much of that these days. Every company and every person for themselves. That’s how Rome began its self-directed demise so long ago. Could America become the next Rome? Thanks, BTW, for the book suggestion!

]]> Comment on A Wake-up Call to American Business Leaders by Dorothy Greenberger http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/03/a-wake-up-call-to-american-business-leaders/#comment-5597 Dorothy Greenberger Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:48:04 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=174#comment-5597 This might be a little off topic, but relevant--I'd suggest you read A Whole New Mind--Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future, by Daniel H. Pink. Although I agree whole-heartedly with you, it's very difficult to change because it's not really the companies that are driving this, it's our culture. Companies are no longer happy to make a modest profit with a communal work force, it's all about the stockmarket and stockholder's interests. And who are these stockholders? My company still has profit sharing and I am continuously amazed at how many of my peers are more interested in a higher payout than protecting a coworker's job. I for one would give up my payout if it saved a job, but that doesn't appear to be the American way. This might be a little off topic, but relevant–I’d suggest you read A Whole New Mind–Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future, by Daniel H. Pink.

Although I agree whole-heartedly with you, it’s very difficult to change because it’s not really the companies that are driving this, it’s our culture. Companies are no longer happy to make a modest profit with a communal work force, it’s all about the stockmarket and stockholder’s interests. And who are these stockholders? My company still has profit sharing and I am continuously amazed at how many of my peers are more interested in a higher payout than protecting a coworker’s job. I for one would give up my payout if it saved a job, but that doesn’t appear to be the American way.

]]> Comment on Random Acts of Kindness at Work by Reed http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/02/random-acts-of-kindness-at-work/#comment-5058 Reed Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:45:26 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=170#comment-5058 Good article. I agree with you completely. I started my own daily year-long commitment to giving back in December. Every day I find someone that I don't know and I give them $10. They are free to do whatever they wish with it. I learn a little about them and their story as well as find out what they plan to use the money for. It’s really not about the $10, although it has meant a great deal to several of the recipients. It’s really about the people I meet and their lives….about the personal interaction with each recipient and letting them know that you cared enough to speak with them and to give them something without receiving anything in return. The reality is that you do receive something great in return. You walk away with a contagious feeling of goodness that I now have become addicted to. If people are interested, they can check out the journey at www.yearofgiving.org. Good article. I agree with you completely.
I started my own daily year-long commitment to giving back in December. Every day I find someone that I don’t know and I give them $10. They are free to do whatever they wish with it. I learn a little about them and their story as well as find out what they plan to use the money for.
It’s really not about the $10, although it has meant a great deal to several of the recipients. It’s really about the people I meet and their lives….about the personal interaction with each recipient and letting them know that you cared enough to speak with them and to give them something without receiving anything in return. The reality is that you do receive something great in return. You walk away with a contagious feeling of goodness that I now have become addicted to.
If people are interested, they can check out the journey at http://www.yearofgiving.org.

]]> Comment on Forms of Address – A Generational Difference? by Jay Remer http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/02/forms-of-address-%e2%80%93-a-generational-difference/#comment-4710 Jay Remer Wed, 10 Feb 2010 19:42:30 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=168#comment-4710 Mr. Ziff's thoughtful response shows a different perspective. In some ways it clearly illustrates exactly what I see as the root of the problem. I am always amused by being referred to as old and antiquated( two other comments to the blog entry to which Mr. Ziff refers), and now speaking from the point of view another generation. I agree with this; however 59 is the new 30 - right? I still remain steadfast on my point about addressing someone as Mr or Ms, until that Mr or Ms requests otherwise. An assumption that Sally or Tom is okay from the very beginning is not right and is a form of disrespect in many circumstances. The reference to Japanese bowing has little to do with this discussion, but is worthy of addressing in a separate article. Intention is key, but does not excuse unintentional rudeness. I, too, believe that many people are flexible - not necessarily most. The bar height of civility has dropped over the years which makes it the 'norm' for this behavior to be acceptable. As this is not suitable in the workplace, nor is it suitable in less formal situations. I do think what is appropriate today is for the informality on both sides to be requested far more quickly, as in, "Please call me Jay." Some people can call me Jay and some people can continue to call me Mr. Remer. It depends on the complexities of individual events. As to the matter of addressing in laws, that is very personal and very complicated as it involves a lot psychological material we carry around, much of it from childhood. For me, I referred to my future in laws as Mr and Mrs until I became engaged. Then I was immediately asked to call them by their first names. I would definitely shy away from calling someone other than my own mother anything resembling that term. This is really a separate discussion. I think the point of writing the article in the first place is that gentility has slipped, not only in the board room, but socially as well. Respect is respect. Assumptions about relaxing social mores is walking on thin ice. My advice is to stay on solid ground. Mr. Ziff’s thoughtful response shows a different perspective. In some ways it clearly illustrates exactly what I see as the root of the problem. I am always amused by being referred to as old and antiquated( two other comments to the blog entry to which Mr. Ziff refers), and now speaking from the point of view another generation. I agree with this; however 59 is the new 30 - right?
I still remain steadfast on my point about addressing someone as Mr or Ms, until that Mr or Ms requests otherwise. An assumption that Sally or Tom is okay from the very beginning is not right and is a form of disrespect in many circumstances.
The reference to Japanese bowing has little to do with this discussion, but is worthy of addressing in a separate article.
Intention is key, but does not excuse unintentional rudeness. I, too, believe that many people are flexible - not necessarily most. The bar height of civility has dropped over the years which makes it the ‘norm’ for this behavior to be acceptable. As this is not suitable in the workplace, nor is it suitable in less formal situations. I do think what is appropriate today is for the informality on both sides to be requested far more quickly, as in, “Please call me Jay.” Some people can call me Jay and some people can continue to call me Mr. Remer. It depends on the complexities of individual events.
As to the matter of addressing in laws, that is very personal and very complicated as it involves a lot psychological material we carry around, much of it from childhood. For me, I referred to my future in laws as Mr and Mrs until I became engaged. Then I was immediately asked to call them by their first names. I would definitely shy away from calling someone other than my own mother anything resembling that term. This is really a separate discussion.
I think the point of writing the article in the first place is that gentility has slipped, not only in the board room, but socially as well. Respect is respect. Assumptions about relaxing social mores is walking on thin ice. My advice is to stay on solid ground.

]]> Comment on Forms of Address - More Informal, More Familiar - Not Appropriate by Melody http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/02/forms-of-address-more-informal-more-familiar-not-appropriate/#comment-4660 Melody Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:52:42 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=166#comment-4660 I agree with Jay on the point of getting the name right. My name is commonly mispronounced as "Melanie". Even while working retail with a name tag that clearly had my name spelled, people got my name incorrect. Even my neighbor who I have known for almost 10 years mispronounces my name! While thinking about the lady's comment in Jay's posting, I wonder if doctors' offices have gone to first name only due to privacy practices? It's harder to identify someone by their first name than their last name or using both. On a similiar note - I took my youngest daughter to an orthopaedic dr to have a cast removed. When we entered the office, we were directed to a computer to sign in and given a "beeper" - one like you get at a restaurant. When it was my turn to register her, they called our number and then the beeper went off when it was our turn to see the dr. I think that's more disrespectful. I'd rather be called by my first name than be a number. I agree with Jay on the point of getting the name right. My name is commonly mispronounced as “Melanie”. Even while working retail with a name tag that clearly had my name spelled, people got my name incorrect. Even my neighbor who I have known for almost 10 years mispronounces my name!

While thinking about the lady’s comment in Jay’s posting, I wonder if doctors’ offices have gone to first name only due to privacy practices? It’s harder to identify someone by their first name than their last name or using both.

On a similiar note - I took my youngest daughter to an orthopaedic dr to have a cast removed. When we entered the office, we were directed to a computer to sign in and given a “beeper” - one like you get at a restaurant. When it was my turn to register her, they called our number and then the beeper went off when it was our turn to see the dr. I think that’s more disrespectful. I’d rather be called by my first name than be a number.

]]> Comment on Gen U – Generation Unretired – Humanizes The Workplace by Ms Anderson http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/01/gen-u-%e2%80%93-generation-unretired-%e2%80%93-humanizes-the-workplace/#comment-4612 Ms Anderson Sat, 06 Feb 2010 17:55:34 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=163#comment-4612 Thank you for pointing out that there are negative stereotypes, mostly false in my opinion, when it comes to Gen U. As a manager within a middle-sized company, I have found that generations like to help each other and motivate each other. However, it has been my experience that multi-national companies are better at hiring across the board and are more aware of age discrimination than smaller companies. Let us hope that more insightful blogs, such as this one, gets the message out that today's workforce needs to have more age diversity in order to mirror society at large. No matter how techno crazy we all become, experience is the best teacher. Thank you for your great site. Thank you for pointing out that there are negative stereotypes, mostly false in my opinion, when it comes to Gen U. As a manager within a middle-sized company, I have found that generations like to help each other and motivate each other. However, it has been my experience that multi-national companies are better at hiring across the board and are more aware of age discrimination than smaller companies. Let us hope that more insightful blogs, such as this one, gets the message out that today’s workforce needs to have more age diversity in order to mirror society at large. No matter how techno crazy we all become, experience is the best teacher. Thank you for your great site.

]]> Comment on Forms of Address - More Informal, More Familiar - Not Appropriate by Bruce Kulgowski http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/02/forms-of-address-more-informal-more-familiar-not-appropriate/#comment-4569 Bruce Kulgowski Wed, 03 Feb 2010 23:09:49 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=166#comment-4569 I agree with David Cowen, as you can see my name is always said incorrectly. Most European names all the letteres are said. I tell people where I come from its the same as Smith. Most Americans if its not Jones, Smith, or Johnson can not pronounce a name. Shame on anyone that doesn't at least try! I agree with David Cowen, as you can see my name is always said incorrectly. Most European names all the letteres are said. I tell people where I come from its the same as Smith. Most Americans if its not Jones, Smith, or Johnson can not pronounce a name. Shame on anyone that doesn’t at least try!

]]> Comment on Forms of Address - More Informal, More Familiar - Not Appropriate by David Cowen http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/02/forms-of-address-more-informal-more-familiar-not-appropriate/#comment-4564 David Cowen Wed, 03 Feb 2010 20:20:43 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=166#comment-4564 I would like to offer a perspepctive on why people use first names over last names, and this, by no means, makes it correct because it's not. I go through great pains to use a person's last name and to get it pronounced correctly. The reason I do that is that I have a 5-letter last name, and 90+% of people mispronounce it. The chances of mispronouncing a first name are less than a last name in the majority of cases (the global society will affect that). People opt for the first name because they fear being wrong and getting corrected. The reason they do that is that they are not well-grounded from within (low self-esteem /self-respect from within). So rather than possibly butchering a name, they keep themselves "intact" while sacrificing a show of respect to another. And since they do that for tough names, they do it for easy names to be consistent; again, keeping themselves intact. I would like to offer a perspepctive on why people use first names over last names, and this, by no means, makes it correct because it’s not. I go through great pains to use a person’s last name and to get it pronounced correctly. The reason I do that is that I have a 5-letter last name, and 90+% of people mispronounce it. The chances of mispronouncing a first name are less than a last name in the majority of cases (the global society will affect that). People opt for the first name because they fear being wrong and getting corrected. The reason they do that is that they are not well-grounded from within (low self-esteem /self-respect from within). So rather than possibly butchering a name, they keep themselves “intact” while sacrificing a show of respect to another. And since they do that for tough names, they do it for easy names to be consistent; again, keeping themselves intact.

]]> Comment on Forms of Address - More Informal, More Familiar - Not Appropriate by Brendalee Harris http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/02/forms-of-address-more-informal-more-familiar-not-appropriate/#comment-4559 Brendalee Harris Wed, 03 Feb 2010 15:44:23 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=166#comment-4559 You are old and antiquated...and speaking my language! I feel it's disrespectful when you don't give your elder the courtesy of addressing them correctly. Even when given permission to call my elder (not necessarily elderly or senior in age) by his/her first name, I usually say "Ms./Mr._____". They usually take it in stride when I explain that it's not disobedience on my part, but respect for them. It's even more critical in a professional setting because we are such a global society that liberties that we take in America just don't fly abroad. And we are doing business more often than not with our global neighbors every day in every way. Bottom line, if we are not doing it, how can we teach our children to do?!!! You are old and antiquated…and speaking my language! I feel it’s disrespectful when you don’t give your elder the courtesy of addressing them correctly. Even when given permission to call my elder (not necessarily elderly or senior in age) by his/her first name, I usually say “Ms./Mr._____”. They usually take it in stride when I explain that it’s not disobedience on my part, but respect for them. It’s even more critical in a professional setting because we are such a global society that liberties that we take in America just don’t fly abroad. And we are doing business more often than not with our global neighbors every day in every way. Bottom line, if we are not doing it, how can we teach our children to do?!!!

]]> Comment on Gen U – Generation Unretired – Humanizes The Workplace by Lynn Taylor http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/01/gen-u-%e2%80%93-generation-unretired-%e2%80%93-humanizes-the-workplace/#comment-4379 Lynn Taylor Fri, 22 Jan 2010 17:00:10 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=163#comment-4379 mostinterested: Thanks for sharing your experience. I have also found that in corporate America, Gen U employees are often fantastic mentors. They are an underutilized segment in today's workforce, and yet they enable companies to cultivate a more diverse, productive and profitable workplace. mostinterested:
Thanks for sharing your experience. I have also found that in corporate America, Gen U employees are often fantastic mentors. They are an underutilized segment in today’s workforce, and yet they enable companies to cultivate a more diverse, productive and profitable workplace.

]]> Comment on Gen U – Generation Unretired – Humanizes The Workplace by Iowa Manager http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/01/gen-u-%e2%80%93-generation-unretired-%e2%80%93-humanizes-the-workplace/#comment-4361 Iowa Manager Thu, 21 Jan 2010 02:50:01 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=163#comment-4361 First of all, compliments to people running the Respectful Workplace web-site, dedicated to a very important issue. Feeling respected and appreciated makes people more productive. In my subdivision, I work hard to instill the culture of mutual respect and support - or, as Taylor puts it, to humanize the workplace. I like the phrase. Second, I'm glad to see the older generation being discussed here. I'm in my mid-60s and I waved an opportunity to retire due partially to economic reasons (recession!), but first and foremost because I love being with people, sharing my experience, being an important part of the whole. Our management is doing a great job of accommodating seniors who wish to return to work. People are valued for their experience and skills, and Gen U has a lot to contribute in this respect. As a society, we should be aware of the Gen U phenomenon and make the most out of it. First of all, compliments to people running the Respectful Workplace web-site, dedicated to a very important issue. Feeling respected and appreciated makes people more productive. In my subdivision, I work hard to instill the culture of mutual respect and support - or, as Taylor puts it, to humanize the workplace. I like the phrase.

Second, I’m glad to see the older generation being discussed here. I’m in my mid-60s and I waved an opportunity to retire due partially to economic reasons (recession!), but first and foremost because I love being with people, sharing my experience, being an important part of the whole. Our management is doing a great job of accommodating seniors who wish to return to work. People are valued for their experience and skills, and Gen U has a lot to contribute in this respect. As a society, we should be aware of the Gen U phenomenon and make the most out of it.

]]> Comment on Introducing David Cowen by Alexander Crepin http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2009/12/introducing-david-cowen/#comment-4325 Alexander Crepin Mon, 18 Jan 2010 12:21:26 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=158#comment-4325 Dear Dave Interesting post. I would be interested to learn more about your "focus to personal sustainability" more specific houw this could link to my Talent 2.0 idea. (http://www.slideshare.net/alhoupart/outplacement-20-defined-explored-explained-1686103) Best regards, Alexander Crepin The Netherlands Dear Dave
Interesting post. I would be interested to learn more about your “focus to personal sustainability” more specific houw this could link to my Talent 2.0 idea. (http://www.slideshare.net/alhoupart/outplacement-20-defined-explored-explained-1686103)
Best regards,
Alexander Crepin
The Netherlands

]]> Comment on Gen U – Generation Unretired – Humanizes The Workplace by mostinterested http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/01/gen-u-%e2%80%93-generation-unretired-%e2%80%93-humanizes-the-workplace/#comment-4271 mostinterested Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:03:18 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=163#comment-4271 “Generation Unretired” definitely offers a great value in the workplace. The older generation has precious experience and all those important qualities Taylor mentions here, and younger employees need to be exposed to that and given an opportunity to learn from Gen U. I'm familiar with Taylor's approach to managing “Terrible Office Tyrants” and in my company, where I'm a HR manager, I see that our Gen U employees are excellent role models for interpersonal skills. We need those people in the workforce, and Lynn Taylor is doing a great job in raising awareness of this social phenomenon. “Generation Unretired” definitely offers a great value in the workplace. The older generation has precious experience and all those important qualities Taylor mentions here, and younger employees need to be exposed to that and given an opportunity to learn from Gen U. I’m familiar with Taylor’s approach to managing “Terrible Office Tyrants” and in my company, where I’m a HR manager, I see that our Gen U employees are excellent role models for interpersonal skills. We need those people in the workforce, and Lynn Taylor is doing a great job in raising awareness of this social phenomenon.

]]> Comment on Gen U – Generation Unretired – Humanizes The Workplace by Lynn Taylor http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/01/gen-u-%e2%80%93-generation-unretired-%e2%80%93-humanizes-the-workplace/#comment-4266 Lynn Taylor Wed, 13 Jan 2010 21:17:31 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=163#comment-4266 Thank you, Paul (and Melanie for this opportunity). It's great to get such thoughtful firsthand feedback. Gen U is here to stay for quite some time... lucky us! Thank you, Paul (and Melanie for this opportunity). It’s great to get such thoughtful firsthand feedback. Gen U is here to stay for quite some time… lucky us!

]]> Comment on Gen U – Generation Unretired – Humanizes The Workplace by Paul Meshanko http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/2010/01/gen-u-%e2%80%93-generation-unretired-%e2%80%93-humanizes-the-workplace/#comment-4265 Paul Meshanko Wed, 13 Jan 2010 20:51:21 +0000 http://www.respectfulworkplace.com/blog/?p=163#comment-4265 Lynn and Melanie...what a timely and well-written post. Having both parents and in-laws who are in their 60s and 70s (and all still working), I know from personal experience that their motivations and needs as workers are vastly different than those of their younger peers. If integrated skillfully, the contributions of "Gerneration U" can be enormous. Keep up the great work! Lynn and Melanie…what a timely and well-written post. Having both parents and in-laws who are in their 60s and 70s (and all still working), I know from personal experience that their motivations and needs as workers are vastly different than those of their younger peers. If integrated skillfully, the contributions of “Gerneration U” can be enormous.

Keep up the great work!

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