Respectful Workplace Blog

“Merry Christmas”, “Happy Hanukah” or “Happy Holidays”? It’s a dilemma that’s a sign of the times. I’ve heard more than a few people grumble that their company has gone too far by renaming the traditional Christmas party a holiday party. “How dare they!” seems to be the sentiment.

Others bitterly (but in a low voice) protest the notion that they should have to say, “Happy Holidays” when in fact they personally celebrate Christmas. And a “holiday tree”? You don’t EVEN want to go there! Yet the fact of the matter is that we live in increasingly diverse communities and don’t really know just what some people celebrate.

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I have long considered myself a student of brain sciences. I am fascinated by how we store information and learn, how emotion plays a role in imprinting and decision making, why behavior change is so difficult …anything that might eventually permit me a greater degree of mastery over that big, grey walnut-shaped mass between my ears. For those with similar curiosity, it’s a great time to be participating in the business of business. There have been more discoveries about how the brain works over the past 5 years than perhaps the last 150 combined…and more is coming out every day.

Okay, you might ask. So what? While knowledge for its own sake is nice, why is brain science so important? And why now? I’m a pragmatist and tactician by nature. It’s the applicability and bottom-line implications of new information that ultimately determine its value to business. So from my perspective, here are a few new insights from brain research that every leader and manager should be aware of.

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One of the ongoing features that I am hoping to add to this blog involves highlighting organizations and individuals who are getting respect ‘right’. But in researching this angle, I have found very few positive examples of respect in the workplace. As I scour the search engines, I keep ending up with results that either emphasize issues of disrespect or outline specific policies intended to increase workplace respect. There is very little online that champions those who are already practicing respectful behaviors in the workplace.

So how do we know what respect in the workplace should look like?

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Every day brings a myriad of opportunities to increase our awareness, wisdom and, ultimately, effectiveness. The problem is that most of us walk right past these opportunities because of a little glitch in our mental “software.”

Years ago, a friend of mine, who is a behavioral psychologist, shared an insight that has stuck with me. While presenting to a local group of Training and Organizational Development professionals, he asked a very simple question:

“What is the strongest need that human beings consistently act upon?”

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Recently, I posted about how we are much more alike than we are different, especially in terms of shared values. But now, science is confirming that even across racial lines, there are more similarities among us than differences.

A new exhibition, RACE: Are We So Different, which opened last week at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History, explores the origins of race. Humans, as explained in the exhibition, are all basically the same, once the layers of skin are pulled back. Skin color variants in humans evolved only as protection from the sun’s ultraviolet rays.

If race really is just skin deep then why does the subject stir such heated debates and cause tempers to flare?

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Maybe yes and maybe no.

Lately, there have been a number of blog posts either focusing on proposed legislation that would prevent workplace bullying or the Employee Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which would expand Title VII to include sexual orientation as a protected class.

While this type of legislation is intended to eradicate inequality and promote inclusiveness in the workplace, we shouldn’t wait for its passage to act. Wouldn’t it be more effective for organizations to take a proactive stance before such legislation is passed to begin the dialogue among employees about the benefits of a respectful workplace?

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There’s an old saying that people support what they help create. The caveat is that we also oftentimes resist what is thrust upon us by someone else (especially if their intentions are unclear). After five straight days of work with two different clients this past week, I’m as committed as ever to the belief that employees and managers must together both define and own their work culture.

Using a relatively simple exercise called “Creating Our Code of Cooperation”, managers (including senior leaders) and associates took part in a discussion of what behaviors they wanted to be able to expect from each other. Simple things like saying “please” and “thank you” were mentioned. Taking the time to recognize the accomplishments of peers and holding themselves accountable for outcomes also made the list. Celebrating successes came up with both client groups.

Interestingly, what also made the lists were behaviors the participants agreed to refrain from. No gossiping, no yelling or use of profanity, and no blaming others when things didn’t go the right way. A culture, as it turns out, can be defined just as much by what we don’t do as well as what we do.

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Ned Parks recently posted a story about a woman who would request that co-workers put away newspapers that displayed pictures of a politician she didn’t like. She reportedly found it “disrespectful”.

Chetan Borkhetaria, referencing the same example, intelligently asked whether it was possible to take common courtesies too far.

Is a culture where everyone feels obligated to share excessive “pleases”, “thank yous”, and “I’m sorries” really healthy? The answer is no. At least not if the behaviors are driven by a sense of fear and caution.

Respect is a two-way street. One direction is intention (of behaviors and words) and the other is perception. The true litmus test of a respectful workplace is whether or not the predominate intentions are to treat co-workers in ways that value, esteem and dignify them. This, of course, requires an inquisitive, learning environment where people gradually learn more about their peers so they know what is important to them. It’s difficult to value and esteem people if you don’t know what they value and how they show it.

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A company’s culture is one of its most important assets. Culture plays a role in helping to attract the best talent and it is absolutely vital to engaging, developing and retaining that talent. And while no single culture is best for all organizations (or even functions within an organization), there is one cultural variable that is universally beneficial.

Respect

An environment of respect provides an emotional safety net that frees people up to do their work without having to expend energy watching their backs and protecting themselves from the potentially harmful words and actions of managers and co-workers.

When people feel emotionally safe, they’re more creative, more focused, more open to new approaches, more supportive of company objectives, and usually more willing to go the extra mile to help get there. There is no downside to a respectful workplace atmosphere.

So how do you get there?

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