by Kim Langley

• Look for a mentor with high EQ, then watch ‘em like a hawk! Invite them to mentor you formally or informally.
• Pretend that you have a personal coach inside your head. Practice going inside to consult this person about your skills as well as how to reach your full potential.
• Use silent reflection methods: walking, daydreaming, doodling and “noodling around” with ideas and situations to be resolved.
• Use the reflect-write-share process in meetings so people are more centered.
• About an idea up for discussion: Try a 2-part process that includes “What I think about this” AND “What I feel about this.”
• Experiment with keeping a mood chart to track feelings for a day or week. Connect external events with your high, low and medium feeling levels. Watch for patterns.
• Practice the art of watching yourself as you become involved in different tasks. Ask yourself what an outside observer might think, especially when you’re in a challenging situation.
• “Know Thyself” practices, including meditation, journaling, guided imagery.
• Get materials on anger management from the library and use them.
• Affirm self and others frequently for work well done or risks taken in problem-solving. Discuss what goes well on teams and what needs to be improved. Celebrate!
• Practice intuiting others’ feelings… then ask if you’re right!
• Take a workshop or use another medium (videos, tapes, books) to gain skills in dealing with difficult people.
• Read about, and practice observing facial expressions and non-verbal communication.
  Become a disciplined “people watcher” and see how attuned you can become.
• Read about empathy, and use empathy skills when appropriate.
• Practice sensing other people’s motives.
• Observe political undercurrents— who speaks first? Who seems direct? Indirect? Who sits near who at meetings? Who withholds information? Steals credit?
• Silence the “mind chatter” that continually evaluates what others say— while they’re still saying it!
• Carefully observe well-respected and well-liked team leaders.
• Rely less on voice mail and e-mail. Cultivate good “personal” communication.