KPMG is one of the Employers of Choice featured in my book Road to Respect: Path to Profit. I became interested in respect at KPMG after hearing Beth Wilson, Canadian managing partner, speak on diversity in business at the Vancouver Board of Trade in November 2006. I knew that Ms. Wilson and I were singing off the same song sheet when I heard her say that while there is, of course, a clear social reason for business to embrace  diversity, there is also a clear business reason. 

Two of the issues Ms. Wilson cited were for talent and the war for clients. The current  recessionary climate offers an additional reason to embrace respect in the workplace – the need for innovation and creativity. The relationship between innovation, culture and profitability is examined in a new book by Kimberly Davis entitled The Firefly Effect: Build Teams That Capture Creativity and Catapult Results. Ms. Davis argues that innovation is a necessary cultural characteristic for companies seeking success in today’s challenging economic reality.

How does one build a culture of innovation? One critical factor, according to Ms. Davis, is a respectful environment. When employees feel safe and respected, creativity flourishes.  

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This week we welcome Margaret W. Jones, Ph.D, author of Not of Making: Bullying, Scapegoating and Misconduct in Churches. She shares with us her experience about being bullied in hopes this will help others overcome similar situations.

Overcoming Workplace Bullying

Over the years, I have directly experienced and witnessed bullying at work and in churches. Only at the time, I didn’t think of it as that. Bullying was something children do to each other at school. When they walked across the stage to pick up a high school diploma they magically mature and stop bullying others. No one ever told me adults often bully each other. That was something I learned later from my own painful experiences.

A number of years ago I accepted a job at a state developmental center. My immediate supervisor was concerned that the masters’ level psychologist on the mental health team was allowing the social worker to assume his responsibilities for developing and monitoring behavior plans. The social worker who lacked training in behavior modification and data analysis produced plans that were ineffective depriving clients of competent care. With little or no thought about the politics, I replaced the psychologist on the team. My boss was pleased with my work and shielded me from the inevitable complaints from the social worker. After six months my boss resigned and I got another supervisor who felt the masters level psychologist had been treated unfairly. That is when my troubles began.

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I realize it has not even been a year since we here in the US elected the first African-American president and that change is slow. But the recent incident at the Hunt Valley Swim Club in suburban Philadelphia  makes me wonder if we are making progress at all. Earlier this year, I questioned the future of diversity training, but now I see that we still have a long way to go in resolving race relations.

This incident at the Hunt Valley Swim Club is the latest to spark a race-related debate. Earlier this month the club rescinded the invitation as well as refunded the money of an inner city summer camp prohibiting them from swimming at the pool for the remainder of the summer. Many of the children from the camp are African American or Latino.

Although the club has denied this was a case of racism, insisting instead, it was a space issue in the pool, the comments made on television by John Duesler the swim club president seem to prove otherwise:

“There is a lot of concern that a lot of kids would change the complexion . . . and the atmosphere of the club.”

Whether you think this was an act of racism, as the camp alleges or not, as the swim club asserts, I hope we can all appreciate the wisdom and insight spoken from one of the kids involved:

“I didn’t understand because we’re all the same. We’re just a different color,” said 9-year-old camper Kevina Day Morris.

My favorite part of Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence, is Appendix B that outlines the “Hallmarks of an Emotional Mind.” If you’ve had a reaction and wonder if your emotions have “hijacked” you, look to see if your reactions fit this list:

1. A quick but sloppy response: an accurate perception is sacrificed for speed. Speed is what makes our emotions so helpful at protecting us from danger, and so harmful (when the danger is imagined).

2. Feelings come first: then we realize what happened. Our feelings seem to happen to us. We can practice ways of intervening but strong feelings have biological pathways that will always precede thought.

3. Our emotions often have a childlike logic and can contain symbolic meanings. This is why it is impossible to argue with someone “possessed” by an emotion. It is also why deciphering the meaning of an emotion can be so difficult.

4. Strong feelings are often a reaction to past events– not present realities. Taking time to understand these emotions can help us identify the unconscious thoughts (from the past) that are still driving our behavior (and reactions).

5. Our perception of reality is based on the emotion we are feeling. Even our memories can shift as we seek “proof” and “justification” for our reactions. Even though we may be very wrong in our assessments, strong feelings can leave us convinced of their accuracy.

How would you describe the experience of being overtaken by an emotion?

Laura Lewis-Barr is a Development Dimensions International Certified trainer and a Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Certified trainer. Laura has been teaching communication skills for over 15 years. Her specialties include: dynamic presentation skills, emotional intelligence, time management, conflict resolution, and customer service.

Creating a respectful workplace is not about having nice slogans or values statements about respect posted up on the wall. It is about creating a culture where business practices are fundamentally respectful.

Zappos an electronic commerce company and online retailer specializing in footwear is such a company. Their goal is to offer the best customer service in the industry. CEO Tony Hsieh knows that the way to achieve that objective is to focus on core values and company culture. Clearly he is on to something. Zappos grossed $1 billion in 2008, up from $1.6 million in 2000, the year Hsieh became CEO. 

Zappos has 10 stated core values. The word respect does not appear in any of them. From my perspective that is not what is important. What matters is whether or not their business practices demonstrate respect and there is no doubt in my mind that they do.

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