Twice in the last six months the NY Times has featured articles about women bullying other women at work. In January 2009 it was A Sisterhood of Workplace Infighting. More recently, on May 10, Mother’s Day, it was Backlash: Women Bullying Women at Work.

This last article seems to have touched a nerve.  A veritable frenzy of tweets and re-tweets about the subject appeared on Twitter. Journalists and bloggers in both the US and Canada picked up on the story and ran subsequent features.

From my perspective all of this publicity is great. It is crucial to raise awareness about the prevalence of workplace bullying. My consulting work has unfortunately afforded me numerous opportunities to witness the devastation that often results when women bully other women at work. Both careers and personal lives can be ruined when bullying is allowed to continue unchecked.

Why do women do it? For the same reason that men do - because they can. Women can only bully others at work if the workplace culture condones, encourages or turns a blind eye to disrespectful behaviour like bullying and harassment.

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Corporate trainer and brain science enthusiast Laura Lewis-Barr is our latest guest blogger. Below she shares her insights into mirror neurons, empathy and what this all means for creating more respect in the workplace.

Empathy and Mirror Neurons

I’m not a brain scientist, but I’ve been thinking about mirror neurons after seeing a wonderful video on them. These specialized brain cells help us relate to our surroundings and other people. Mirror cells build empathy and connection. They are activated every time we see or hear.

The video suggested that mirror neurons function even more profoundly when we witness an emotion or activity that we ourselves have experienced. This explains why my husband can feel intensely involved when simply watching a football game and I am unmoved. This also explains why emotional literacy is so vital in helping us develop empathy. Our mirror neurons link our past emotional memories and compare them to what we witness in another. We can then have a sense of how the other person feels-i.e. we can feel empathy.

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We’ve heard from team member Ruth Ramos in the past through posts like The Beginning of Healing and R-E-S-P-E-C-T. But now,  I’d like to introduce you to her and her work to kick off our new interview series.

RW: Tell us more about what you do.

RR: Compass Consulting Services is an organizational development firm which specializes in customized training in the areas of diversity and inclusion management, conflict management, communication, leadership and team building. I am also trained to facilitate groups and coach managers. Finally, I have several years of experience in diversity sourcing for corporations.

RW: How did you get involved in respect issues/diversity initiatives?

RR: I wish that this were a short answer but it’s really not. Growing up, I was in a neighborhood that was predominantly white and being Latina, I never fit in. After I graduated, I went to Cleveland State University where there is no lack in diversity. But because it was so different than how I grew up, I still didn’t quite fit in. It was after an experience that I had with the National Hispanic Leadership Institute in Washington, D.C. that I realized that there were other Latinas just like me all over the nation. It was the first time that I ever felt included and visible. It was so impactful in my life that I thought to myself, “if I could do this for someone else, I think that I’d really enjoy that and find it rewarding.” I then learned of the Diversity Management Program at Cleveland State University. While getting my graduate degree, I learned about so many injustices in the country and my ears and eyes (and heart) became sensitive to respect and equality for all and unconditional acceptance of all. My desire changed from helping one person to changing the world by bringing healing to families, organizations, communities and nations that are so divided by our differences.

RW: What types of clients/groups have you worked with?

RR: I have had the amazing opportunity to work with organizations of all sizes and in all sectors. I’ve worked with organizations as small as 3 individuals to national and international organizations. I’ve enjoyed working with non-profit organizations of all sizes, as well as have worked in K-12 schools. I have a strong passion around this work so I am open to any opportunity that I have to teach and bring awareness around respect issues and diversity initiatives.

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A couple of months ago I met a charming woman at an intimate gathering of professionals. When I mentioned I worked in diversity training, she immediately told me about a piece her daughter had written for the NPR show This I Believe. Below is the insightful essay.

Seeing Beyond Our Differences
by Sheri White

My mother is a geneticist, and from her I learned that despite our differences in size, shape and color, we humans are 99.9 percent the same. It is in our nature to see differences: skin, hair and eye color, height, language, gender, sexual orientation, even political leanings. But also in our nature, way down in the DNA that makes us human, we are almost identical.

I believe there is more that unites us than divides us.

My mother came to the United States from India. She is dark enough that she was refused service in a diner in 1960s Dallas. My father is a white boy from Indiana whose ancestors came from Germany in the mid-1800s and England in the mid-1600s. I am a well-tanned mix of the two of them.

(Read the Entire Essay)