Being able and willing to look back at childhood challenges through the eyes of an adult has been a tremendous vehicle for my own personal growth over the past 10 years. In no area has this been truer than the subject of self-esteem.

While all kids (teenagers especially) wrestle with the awkwardness of puberty and slowly transitioning to the adult roles they will eventually play, most figure it out without too many permanent scars. But some, it seems to me, handle the process more smoothly than most. They’re typically no smarter, athletically inclined or attractive than others. There’s just something on the inside that seems to give them an emotional edge in dealing with the feelings of vulnerability and inadequacy that go with being a teen.

Thinking back to my own days at a private, all-boys school in Columbus, Ohio, there were a few kids who always seemed to have a resilience and depth of character that I didn’t understand. No matter how average their appearance, how un-athletic their bodies or how average their best academic efforts, they absolutely flourished in a highly competitive high school environment. They formed strong friendships (many still intact today), were involved in a wide range of extra-curricular activities, always seemed happy, and just really enjoyed the high school experience.

In contrast, there were also a few kids possessing great physical and/or mental prowess who, for whatever reason, were never quite at peace with themselves. What marked their behavior was hostility in all the traditional forms: bullying, incessant teasing, practical jokes and even physical hazing of their less aggressive peers. No natural advantages or gifts seemed able to satisfy their need for attention and domination over others.

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The following article originally appeared in the March 15, 2009 edition of the Cleveland Plain Dealer and shows the depth of experience with diversity and prejudice of Northeast Ohio students.

Stop the Hate
By Sharon Broussard

The high-spirited Shaw High School Band and the Cleveland Heights High School choir dazzled the crowd at the Maltz Museum of Jewish Heritage in Beachwood with their music and poise.

But make no mistake, when the topic of the essay contest is “Stop the Hate: Youth Speak Out,” it’s going to get a little ugly. Yet there are going to be some rays of hope.

I should know. I served as one of the judges.

The brightest light last Sunday afternoon? The radiant but stunned look on the face of winner Matt Soble of Solon High School. He was speechless when Milton Maltz, the museum’s co-founder, gave him the $100,000 college scholarship prize.

Anyone would be.

It’s a lot of money for one student, and it would be better if the sponsors spread the wealth more evenly next year among runners-up.

The darkest passages came from those teenagers’ roughly written but brave essays. They wrote about a homeless guy beaten in an alley, a Jewish kid mocked by her clueless teacher and, to the surprise of several judges, rampant bigotry toward gay students.

Gay students weren’t seen or heard if you went to school back when Afros rose high and boys wore jeans that actually fit, as I did. They flew far under the radar then, and we didn’t have a name for them. Now too many kids do — and it’s not very flattering.

(Read the rest of the article)

This week the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors, as suggested by 15-year old McKay Hatch, will likely declare the first week of March cuss-free. Hatch, who runs a No-Cussing Club at his high school, started the group in response to the increase of swearing he heard from fellow classmates.

About the purpose of the group, Hatch declared:

“It’s not about forcing anyone to stop, just to bring awareness,” he says of the movement. “If you can do a week without cussing, maybe you can do two weeks. And then maybe a month.”

As for how adopting a week long country-wide ban on cussing will affect everybody, Tony Bell, a board supervisor representative said:

“It’s a good reminder for all of us, not just young people but everybody, to be respectful to one another and watch the words we use”

This story got me thinking about other ways we can demonstrate respect, not only in our daily lives but also at work. I typed “demonstrating respect at work” into a major search engine and came up with 22,400,000 results. The first link on the list was titled, How to Demonstrate Respect at Work.  In the article, the author suggests that respect is the preferred treatment people would like at work.

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