Comments on: Respect is Better than Tolerance

By: Jay

Jay — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 19:15:17 +0000

Nice summation Paul. There are a large number of people whose actions and even beliefs I disagree with strongly. However they are still human beings with the exact same construction as myself. Ultimately there is no Us and Them, we all “deserve” basic love and respect without any question of earning it at all.

This is what goes to the essence of what, I think, Melanie is saying. Beyond “tolerance”, beyond even “respect”, there is the basic assumption that we are all a family and that we must accept each other.

By: Paul Meshanko

Paul Meshanko — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 19:08:13 +0000

Great discussion. The interesting aspect about morality is that the more conviction that a person has for their particular beliefs, the more “right” they tend to think they are…which then leads them to the conclusion that other people are “wrong”. Differences based upon religious convictions are particularly challenging because they are based on faith and ultimately neither provable nor disprovable.

To Dorothy’s point, we can always dislike and even disapprove of the behaviors and actions that others engage in, especially those we think are hamrful to themselves (drugs) and others (gossip). And to Melanie’s point, we can still extend respect to the individual(s) involved. Based upon her thought that respect can be demonstrated through a willingness to dialogue, it may even lead to a frank discussion of the differences and possibly even changed beliefs and behaviors on the other side. But once the stark alternatives of “right” and “wrong” rear their heads, dialogue becomes infinitely more difficult.

By: Melanie Sklarz

Melanie Sklarz — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 17:03:19 +0000

Thanks for your comment, Dorothy. I do see your point regarding not being able to respect others whose moral views conflict with yours. At the same time, I disagree that they do not deserve your respect. Yes, it may be a simplistic approach, but what I am advocating is to at least acknowledge that although you may not agree with them, you can respect that they have a perspective different from yours.

By: Dorothy Greenberger

Dorothy Greenberger — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 13:41:42 +0000

Melanie, I think you are correct–respect and tolerance are definately not the same thing, and you defined them well. But, I feel your application of respect in the workplace is a little too simplistic. Based on obvious differences of gender, religion, and ethnicity, all of us should listen to others and not judge them purely on these differences. But morality is a difference that shouldn’t be overlooked, and tolerance is the best we can ask for. I can’t respect someone who gossips as a means of hurting others, or a someone who abuses alcohol or drugs, or someone who cheats/lies for their own gain, etc. These individuals don’t view these moral differences, differences in basic beleifs, as being wrong. I do. True respect has to be earned, tolerance can be given freely.